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bathing suit shopping

by Maevon Gumble

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lyrics

been two months and these scars are fresh
with the sketches of my body
no longer livin' in my mind
I no longer bind cause I find
that the stretch of the fabric
doesn't have enough give
and I want to live outside the lines

I'm familiar with the feelin' of healin'
cause these scars I've gained
throughout this life were more than enough
to say that we were meant to fly
and fall and fly and fall
and through it all
to know that it's more
than sayin' the right name
to frame acceptance around pronouns
our lives hold no bounds
and this focus on language
just makes me anxious
that we're missin' the point of it all
yeah we're missin' the point of it all

and you see, the problem is
I'm living in the postpartum
I gave birth to 12 lbs of flesh
two alien babies once were breasts
and I'm feeling blessed
yeah, so blessed
and yet there's the thought
that when I bare my chest
the world will still say "wrong"
that I don't belong
in the realm of the topless
and somewhere in my subconscious
just a fat queer they/them
oh, answerin' calls to cover the skin
that we all have
oh ain't it sad
yeah ain't it sad
it makes me so mad

cause I wanna go topless
nipples ain't a protest
I wanna go unnoticed
yet I wanna be noticed
for more than what lies on my skin
can we begin to let it sink in
that these boxes we live in
mean everything and nothing
at the same time
can we toe the line
can we toe the line

been two months and these scars are fresh
with the sketches of my body
no longer livin' in my mind
I no longer bind cause I find
that the stretch of the fabric
doesn't have enough give
and I want to live outside the lines
outside the lines

credits

released March 29, 2023

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Maevon Gumble Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Genderqueer singer/songwriter and music therapist

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